Tokyo Report and Looking Forward

Oh hi!  Looks like you’ve stopped by for this month’s installment of The Michael in Japan Show!

I guess I should start with Tokyo!  We arrived at 5:30 am, well before sunrise and went to Tsukigi fish market.  I had been there before, but I must have been either half asleep or still drunk from partying all night, as I didn’t remember how huge and utterly fishy it was.  There are literally thousands of people running, yelling, arguing and frantically trying to buy the best of whatever had just been unloaded from the boats.  The fishing industry in Japan is huge and hyper-competitive.  After our visit, I am content in returning to experiencing it through educational TV programs.  

After Tsukigi we did a couple of famous temples and then tried to go up Sky Tree, the tallest building in Japan, but it was so overcast that we were advised to return the next day.  Then we decided to have lunch at an owl café, only it wasn’t just owls there, and it wasn’t a café at all.  It turned out to be a weird sort of petting zoo with exotic pets that had been discarded by their owners.  And there was a vending machine and bench.  I don’t know why you would want to call your petting zoo a “café” as that would seem like a health department red flag, but that’s what showed up on google.  So after petting some owls, a monkey and a capybara, we drank our free vending machine coffee and went off to a Mexican restaurant for lunch (actually a first in Japan.)  That afternoon we explored a forest in the middle of Tokyo (Meiji shrine) as well as Shibuya, which has the famous world’s-busiest cross walk.  We crashed in a crappy hostel and went back to Sky Tree the next day.  (It’s worth the $20 to get to the top.  You can see every neighborhood of a city of 30 million).  After that I met an old friend for lunch, strolled around the imperial gardens, and took the bullet train home.  It was by far the most sightseeing I had ever packed into two days.  I'm still a little tired out from it...

So, since then (it’s been a month hasn’t it?) I’ve been mostly working and thinking about my next break in 2 weeks and my new work assignment.  Starting next school year (April) I am completely abandoning all of my branches and starting again, mostly working at two Hello’s schools a mile from my apartment.  It’s a much needed fresh start, as the experiment of renting me out to our parent company has pretty much failed miserably.  The trend of bad behavior and little support has continued, and at this point most of my students don’t want to be in class and most of my coworkers barely talk to me (they don’t really talk to each other much either).  It’s a night and day difference compared to my last time in Japan.  Hopefully my move back to Hello’s will set things straight.  This week is my last on my current schedule, then I train for a week, and take over new classes after the April vacation. 

What else?  I’ve been to a few movies lately- I enjoyed Beguiled and Black Panther (especially the first ever token white character!)   I also worked the last two Sundays, one training and the other teaching a free lesson for prospective students.  I taught four classes with 5 students and two of them singed up on the spot.  Not bad considering I didn’t even know where the books and flashcards were when I showed up! 

Other than that I don’t have much more to report.  I am happy that so many of you keep reading despite my relative lack of adventures/ run-ins with law enforcement.  Hopefully things start getting more interesting soon.  Happy spring interneters!!

Setsubun in Tokyo!

Good evening friends and frienemies, it’s time for another of my increasingly infrequent updates from Japan!  I enjoyed a lovely Christmas in frozen Minnesota shortly following my last post and have been back basically in Ogaki since then.  Winter has finally started in earnest and we have a few melting piles of snow around the parking lot.  The big news is that I’m in the middle of another one week break!  Why another break already you ask?  Well the Japanese teachers are doing parent teacher conferences, so we have no classes to teach, yay!  But actually all of branches I teach at finished their conferences long ago, so there is really no reason that I have off other than my loud and frequent complaining!  Now for the rest of the year my breaks are the same as the other Americans, which makes no sense from a class schedule perspective, but is a huge improvement over texting my boss every day of the break to ask if I have to work or not.  But enough about my corporate overlords, I’m on vacation!  Yesterday I played Dungeons and Dragons for the first time with six other Americans.  It took five hours and I only got to kill one person (and steal a guy’s clothes).  I am not so sad now that my brothers excluded me from their games when I was six.  I also went on one long hike from the town of Motosu to Gifu.  I took a back road through a mountain valley and discovered the prefectural prison, complete with watch towers and barbed wire.  When things aren’t going my way I always imagine the many things I could be thrown into Japanese prison for, and then I feel more grateful for my life!

Later tonight two of my coworkers and I are taking a night bus to Tokyo!  It only cost $40 one way.  We are going to hang out there and do some sightseeing Friday and Saturday and then come back probably on the train Saturday night.  So far on the agenda are: the Tokyo Skytree, the Tsukigi Fish Market, and hopefully one of those weird animal cafes.  (At first there were only cat cafes, but now there are rumored to be owl and hedgehog cafes as well.  Have to try them all before the health department shuts them down!)  Saturday is also Setsubun, the festival where people throw beans to ward of demons, and eat long sushi rolls.  Hopefully we can sneak that into our program as well.

Other than that things have been pretty quiet here.  I’ve been running, lifting weights with the old people at the gym and still trying to read my mini novel in Japanese (I’m on page 170).  I bought some folding chairs so I could now theoretically fit 3 people in my apartment.  A Japanese friend drove me to the furniture store and also gave me chocolate eggs with star wars toys inside.  I thought she liked me, but it turns out I have to give all the toys back to her after I finish the chocolate.  Okay, keep in touch and stay tuned to see how if I get kidnapped by Yakuza in Tokyo!

The Christmas Rundown

Allow me to adjust my red felt hat and jingling belt before I begin typing.  The holidays are upon us, and that means Christmas jingles and lights everywhere, fried chicken ads on TV and excitement building as we approach the birthdays of Jesus and the Emperor.  We had our usual children’s Christmas party last weekend, and my group did a hidden picture search, with giant Christmas themed pictures projected onto the whiteboard.  Can you find the hidden Christmas fish, Billy?  No more kids parties this year, hooray!

Last weekend I attended a UNESCO workshop for high school students who wanted to discuss global issues.  Unfortunately the organizers decided that we had to discuss EVERY global issue in English within the time limit.  (There are 17 of them according to the UN in case you were wondering).  For next year I’m suggesting that UNESCO focus on funny cat videos, so the kids can get a little more conversation going.  There were over 60 kids and 12 or so English speakers, so I got a chance to network a little with some foreigners I hadn’t met before.  At the end of the event we were paid 3,000, and then I immediately got on a train to Nagoya and went to a concert that cost 3,100 yen.  It was in a little basement venue and the bands were playing a genre called “shoe gaze”.  It’s a form of rock with a lot of weird ambient noise that is apparently geared towards Japanese people who have a hard time making eye contact.  The event was organized by a coworker who spends months recruiting the best shoe gazers from around Japan.  Some people were supper into it, although I probably won’t listen to much shoe gaze until next December.

So this week I had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off.  Then I’ll work tomorrow and fly home on Friday.  No one else I know had the last three days off, so I picked up some discount train tickets and explored for a couple days.  On Tuesday I went to Kobe, which is the sixth biggest city in Japan.  I checked out the famous harbor and went to the top of this huge neon-clad tower, where I gazed at the sprawling metropolis and the giant light up “Merry Christmas” spelled out on the hills beyond the city.

Yesterday I went to a huge lake called Hamanako and explored a series of little islands that are connected by bridges.  Then I explored more in the nearby city of Hamamatsu, which I knew nothing about except that sometimes trains out of Ogaki terminate there.  It turns out it’s a huge city with 700,000 some people and a 50 story tower next to the train station.  I was going for two towers in two days, but sadly the Hamamatsu tower observation deck closed at 5:30.  Both trips took over 2 hours each way but only cost about $20 each thanks to a special seasonal ticket that lets you ride unlimited local trains for a whole day. 

Okay, I’m off to pick up a few Christmasy things and then start packing.  I’ll see everyone in a few days.

November

I see I’ve let nearly another month pass without a post, so let’s see what I can dig up to report.  Last weekend we had a huge Thanksgiving party at an American coworker’s house in Nagoya.  We crammed 16 people and about 50 pounds of food into a little living room that was about 200 square feet.  Our host somehow got a turkey (not available in stores here) and brought stuffing mix from the States.  It turns out Japanese people love stuffing for some reason.  I even got to watch the Vikings beat the Lions on tape delay!  It turned out to be almost all work people so it felt oddly like another company event, but fortunately there was also a ton of alcohol (including jello shots) so we were all able to communicate smoothly.  I made a solid 20 servings of mashed sweet potatoes, which unfortunately were underappreciated, so I have been eating sweet potatoes every day for the past week.  They are starting to grow on me.

What else?  I went to another opera concert, although this one was not followed by a raging after party or a cross dressing bar.  Come to think of it, I haven’t even cross dressed since my last blog post.  My singing coworker is taking a break from opera after this, so I soaked up as much of it as possible.  At the concert I also met my land lord and the president of Shimon.  Ogaki can be a really small city sometimes.

Other than that, I have been a little stressed about work for a while.  My boss gave us our new schedule for next year, which initially had me working on Saturday and continuing on at my three least favorite branches.  I balked at that and after hearing how badly my classes have been going, he agreed to give me a new schedule with no Saturdays.  He is also going to spread my crappy branches out amongst four Americans next year, so now I will have some people to commiserate with.  I will be teaching four days a week in Hellos, which will be similar to the classes I taught last time around.  I will still be “rented out” to Shimon on Wednesdays.  My other boss (the Shimon one) was very understanding about the change.  Although he invented the program I’ve been teaching this year, he admitted that many teachers have been having problems teaching it, including many students that are not trying or misbehaving.  It’s a relief to have this out of the way, as I’ve been getting progressively more frustrated with work over the last few months. 

Well the only other news I have is that I a got a ridiculously cheap ticket home for the holidays.  I got a direct flight from Tokyo to MSP for only $880.  I will be home from 12/22 to 1/1.  Let me know if you want souvenirs from Japan!  Otherwise you’re all getting used panties for Christmas!! 

Further Reflections on Cross Dressing

Hello friends and sorry for the radio silence the past few weeks.  Life has been rather dull, largely thanks to two Typhoons passing through on consecutive weekends.  I had two straight weekends of literally pouring rain from Friday night to Sunday night.  At least I didn’t get swept out to sea so I guess I have something to be thankful for.

Our kid’s Halloween party was a success, and my cross dressing lunch lady costume was wildly popular.  Actually I think the moms that came with the little kids got the biggest kick out of it.  I didn’t think a costume consisting of a blonde wig, an apron and two rolled up socks would delight so many people.  I think next Halloween I will be a cross dressing witch. 

I was also forced to wear a one piece elastic Mario costume for an entire day of work this Monday.  I actually got lucky as the branch boss dressed as Yoshi (the turtle/dinosaur) which was a heavy cloth costume on a not-so-cool fall day.  The kids were delighted.  I have one particular class of eight grade boys that has been behaving terribly, so I was planning on giving them a good talking-to on that day, but the felt mustache I had taped on my lip derailed those plans.  For some unknown reason the boys all participated, didn’t make any dirty jokes and stayed in their desks for the full 45 minutes.  I guess I have to wear another cosutme next week.

Speaking of dressing up, I went to a cross dressing bar last night.  Two coworkers and I decided to do it on a whim after splitting a bottle of wine.  The bar is only 10 minutes from our house, and there were two “hostesess” there that poured drinks and chatted with us for an hour.  The whole thing was really silly and one of the “ladies” was a 60 year old man in a wig with no make up.  At the end we had a fencing duel with foam sords and he (whoops she) beat me soundly.  In the Japanese tradition, we each paid a flat $30 fee for an set period of drinks and conversation.  At the end I found out I had been charged an extra $10 for letting our hostess have a drink as well.  The hostess bar experience has been on Japanese bucket list for a while, so the gender bending thing was really just a bonus.  If there had been actual women there pretending to flirt with me there’s no knowing how much money I would have wasted!

Other than that I have been trying to read a light novel that I accidnetally bought.  I though it was a comic book, so I bought a set of three for like three dollars.  It turns out light novels are just small books with pictures every 20 or 30 pages.  So far in two weeks I’m up to page 60.  It’s even less impressive than it sounds since the book is like 3x4 inches and each page has 10 lines of text.  Oh well, another thing off my bucket list.

Okay it’s a work night here, so I should wrap up and get back to watching late night TV and plotting revenge on the teacher who made me wear the Mario suit.  Good luck and good night!

On Being Pelted with Rice Balls and Preparing to Cross Dress (again).

Hello friends, family and internet stalkers!  Here’s a quick rundown on my activities for the past few weeks to help you feel up to date in touch with your Japanese side.  Today was the Jumangoku festival, which the Ogaki city website translates as “festival of 10,000 stones”.  It features a big parade where people march through the streets carrying ornate mini shrines attached to poles that people put on their shoulders to carry the shrines in the parade through the city.  You get the idea.  In the past there was a group of Americans that carried a float, but I was unable to find anyone who was doing it this year, and didn’t see any foreigners in the parade.  I did get to participate in Mochi-nage for the first time though.  This is a fun event where men on 20 foot high platforms pelt crowds of spectators with Mochi (hard sticky rice balls).  I caught one and ate it.  It tasted like rice.  The other participants, from children to old people, showed no reservations about diving between my legs and scrambling on all fours to get their Mochi.  Luckily there was plenty for all.

Last weekend I had a fun time visiting an organic farm run by a Chinese family on the outskirts of town.  The mom took us out in the fields and four of us picked about 12 cubic yards of herbs and peppers and potatoes.  It only cost $10 but I have no idea how to cook with most of the plants I picked.  I am enjoying the spicy peppers but remain perplexed as to how to use 4 pounds of basil. 

Next weekend we have a Halloween party for the kids.  I am going as a lunch lady to fulfill my role in a play we are putting on.  The play is about zombies that eat PB&J.  Then I’m doing a game that involves racing plastic spiders by blowing them with straws.  Should be fun, although I’d enjoy it more if my students were invited. 

Work has continued to present problems, the most recent of which is that all the branches are closed the week after next, except for one.  The single renegade branch boss may cause me to have a one day work week instead of a week off.  Really I wouldn’t care, as no one else I know has time off that week and I obviously haven’t had time to plan anything.  The reason for this situation is that Shimon is taking a 5 day company trip to Hawaii (with over 100 staff!)  It’s cool that the company would offer something like that, although I’m not sure if it makes up for the required 14 hour days most staff work over summer break.  Alright, rather than stressing about work, I’m going to go eat spicy pepper and read the 500 page comic book that I bought for $4.  Until we meet again!

Blond Jesus and Emergency Toilets

Good evening dear readers.  Another long week of squeezing English out of reluctant Japanese children is in the books, so I thought I would bring you up to speed on this lovely Saturday night.  Fall semester is in full swing, although it’s still 80 degrees here most days.  The main change lately is that three Americans have left, which brings our total down to nine.  The last couple of weeks we were able to get in a lot of fun, including Karaoke and $1 drinks at the nearby German tent restaurant. 

The kids are settling back into school and thankfully I only have 2 or 3 new students this term.  I am still struggling to remember the names of kids that I’ve had since April, partially thanks to the fact that at some branches my classes are “optional”.   This means the kids can skip them if they have a test coming up or if they got hit in the head with a basketball and can’t remember how to do their homework.

One class of all 9^th grade boys has begun to suspect that I speak fluent Japanese and has been trying to make me laugh by whispering ridiculous Japanese words in class.  I asked them if they knew “coming of age day” (a national holiday in January) and one boy responded “graduate from virginity day?”  I burst out laughing, and now my credibility is lost.

Last weekend the whole gang of went to a Japanese wedding which was actually a first for me.  The groom is a coworker, although I don’t teach with him so I only see him once a week at our Friday meetings.  The ceremony was very short and spectacularly choreographed, including a choir dressed in all white singing amazing grace in English.  It was also in a chapel, although not a real chapel, just a fancy wedding-venue-only chapel.  It had rows of pews, white marble flooring, and stained glass windows complete with a Madonna and blond baby Jesus.  Thankfully the couple didn’t hire a white man to pretend to be a priest, which is common here.  After the ceremony there was a lavish banquet where members of the wedding party took turns pouring beer for each guest.  The groom must have about 16 brothers and sisters because I consumed about 2 gallons of beer without requesting a refill once.  Thankfully there was also an after party where they rented out an entire restaurant for two hours, also with unlimited alcohol.  We played bingo and I won an emergency survival kit.  It contains items such as rope, nail clippers, a tarp and an “emergency toilet”.  Not quite sure how that one works yet.  It was fitting prize though, since just as we arrived home a typhoon passed through.  No one was swept away, and sadly the water supply was not disrupted so I didn’t get a chance to try my emergency toilet.

Okay, hopefully something exciting will happen soon and I’ll have more to write about.  Until then, Sayonara!