The following blog is rated PG-13 for occasional coarse language, brief nudity and flagrant spelling errors. Reader discretion is advised.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Blond Jesus and Emergency Toilets

Good evening dear readers.  Another long week of squeezing English out of reluctant Japanese children is in the books, so I thought I would bring you up to speed on this lovely Saturday night.  Fall semester is in full swing, although it’s still 80 degrees here most days.  The main change lately is that three Americans have left, which brings our total down to nine.  The last couple of weeks we were able to get in a lot of fun, including Karaoke and $1 drinks at the nearby German tent restaurant. 
The kids are settling back into school and thankfully I only have 2 or 3 new students this term.  I am still struggling to remember the names of kids that I’ve had since April, partially thanks to the fact that at some branches my classes are “optional”.   This means the kids can skip them if they have a test coming up or if they got hit in the head with a basketball and can’t remember how to do their homework.
One class of all 9th grade boys has begun to suspect that I speak fluent Japanese and has been trying to make me laugh by whispering ridiculous Japanese words in class.  I asked them if they knew “coming of age day” (a national holiday in January) and one boy responded “graduate from virginity day?”  I burst out laughing, and now my credibility is lost.
Last weekend the whole gang of went to a Japanese wedding which was actually a first for me.  The groom is a coworker, although I don’t teach with him so I only see him once a week at our Friday meetings.  The ceremony was very short and spectacularly choreographed, including a choir dressed in all white singing amazing grace in English.  It was also in a chapel, although not a real chapel, just a fancy wedding-venue-only chapel.  It had rows of pews, white marble flooring, and stained glass windows complete with a Madonna and blond baby Jesus.  Thankfully the couple didn’t hire a white man to pretend to be a priest, which is common here.  After the ceremony there was a lavish banquet where members of the wedding party took turns pouring beer for each guest.  The groom must have about 16 brothers and sisters because I consumed about 2 gallons of beer without requesting a refill once.  Thankfully there was also an after party where they rented out an entire restaurant for two hours, also with unlimited alcohol.  We played bingo and I won an emergency survival kit.  It contains items such as rope, nail clippers, a tarp and an “emergency toilet”.  Not quite sure how that one works yet.  It was fitting prize though, since just as we arrived home a typhoon passed through.  No one was swept away, and sadly the water supply was not disrupted so I didn’t get a chance to try my emergency toilet.

Okay, hopefully something exciting will happen soon and I’ll have more to write about.  Until then, Sayonara!

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Fall is here!

Hi everyone!  It’s September already and I’ve been back to work for two weeks after a refreshing vacation in Minnesota.  The weather took a much needed turn towards fall just a few days ago, so I can run outside again without my scuba mask.  Actually I joined a small gym above a super market last month so I would have a place to run inside.  Now I’m torn as to whether I should get my money’s worth or enjoy the nice weather.
It’s Monday here and the kids should be back in school starting today.  That means when I show up for work the school will be empty instead of having a dozen 9th graders milling around the lobby.  That should be nice.  The bad part about work is that I have classes all this week while all the other Americans are off.  Last week I only had one day of class, which I found out on Monday.  I wound up taking Wednesday through Friday off and doing very little.  I may have another vacation in October, when Shimon shuts down and all the teachers go to Hawaii for 5 days.  (The other Americans will still be working though.  Confused yet?).
Also September is a big transition for the American crew.  A new teacher has arrived and we’re losing three old ones.  Since we’re in the overlap period right now there are a total of 12 of us (I think) and we’ve been having a lot of festivities and generally being social.  Last week we had a banquet for all 20 Hellos staff.  We rented a private room at a nice restaurant and had all you can Sashimi and Sukiyaki for two hours.  There was also a tremendous amount of alcohol.  As the party was starting I learned that it was also my (belated) welcome party so I got to sit at the same table as the company president (again).  No palm readings this time, as he was much more focused on the young female teachers around me.
Last night we went to a soccer game.  We had a group of ten and we got tickets to sit on the big grassy area behind the goal.  Our hometown Gifu team is in division II, so tickets are just $10.  Our team won 2-1, although the real highlight was the cheering section, when like a hundred people sang fight songs in unison for the entire game.  Like singing and dancing for two hours straight. 

Okay that should be enough paragraphs to satisfy most of you.  I’m off to get ready for another work week!